Let's Get Free....Yeah!

So anywho, as I was getting ready for the 2009 ALCS (8 more wins by my beloved Yankees and I get to shriek like a girl who just experienced a cold speculum), and I was trying to think of what the heck am I to write about this time. It's shocking, as that, well, I rarely post these days. But my cousin sent me an indirect hint to get my ass in gear, so I decided to at least honor her request once while I still have the will to use this computer for something else besides music sorting.

Last week I did a walk in behalf of Down Syndrome, as that my son, as the 1's and 1's of my fan base knows, happens to have the unique condition. I actually didn't limp (that much) after it was said and done, and I was a little proud of myself, as that my wife didn't have to get a crane to get my fat ass out of the van after it was all said and done.

I do tend to spend my days (when I am not being rejected for job opportunities due to potential employees being afraid that my penis size may not fit into their cubicles; only reason I could come up with) pondering and sighing about my present station in life. It is interesting, how a person's problems can seem huge, but compared to others, yours may seem as huge as Dolly Parton's man pillows. While my financial world has come crashing down and I couldn't borrow CPR from a certified professional if I needed it these days due to my lack of money making opportunities, it doesn't compare to a recent bit of news concerning one of my lovely (and overworked) spouse's former patients.

A mother of 2 daughters has had a rather disturbing year, with losing one daughter due to, well, a hospital's incompetence, went through a traumatic 24 hours recently when her remaining child, a 14 year old girl who was greatly affected by her sister's passing, disappeared for 24 hours after attending a concert. Now, as the parent of 2 children, I cannot fathom what that poor woman went through, especially after burying her 4 year old daughter just months before. Thankfully, the young lady was found, and things turned out ok.

So I get back to my issues, or perhaps, let me have you ask yourself about your issues. Back in the not too far off day, I used to think that my issues were so bloody huge, and I hated on those folks who had the money, the prestige...hell, a job! There are times that I still feel that way, since these days I don't answer my phone unless it's a number I recognize, since I don't know what to tell folks whom I owe money to, because I simply can't pay them. It has been a long, steady fall for me these past 22 months, and well, it does suck big time.

But then I think about the woman who thought she may have lost 2 daughters in a matter of months.

That is a friggin' problem. That is a tragedy. That truly, truly sucks.

I used to have good credit, a decent job, and was able to get my kids pretty much what they wanted. However, I didn't plan for old age, and now I owe so much money I will NEVER be able to retire.

That blows like a toothless hooker with strep throat.

But all these things at least have a chance to be fixed, albeit a small one (anyone have 6 winning numbers in a row for a lotto ticket?)

There is this homeless dude and his chick that always begs on this same corner near a major roadway that I frequent in my suburb...and yeah, they look capable enough to get a job and all, but hell, who'd hire a couple who looks like they haven't showered in weeks? And how does one know that this guy is like me, 'cept he ran out of time and resources and now sleeps on the street with his female?

That, like fat kids and exercise, is a problem.

So here I am, waiting to root for a bunch of millionaires compete for a trophy signifying they are the best...for 4 months, till they start all over again in February. For the one who, well, may drop the 27th out that costs their team their chance to advance to the next round, and the fact they have to live with that mistake (as they drive their 100K car back to their homes), they may call that a problem. And hell, it probably is (that is rather embarassing)...to them.

I guess perhaps we all need to try to get free a little, and look at the big picture.

I won't be unemployed forever. The player that dropped the ball will keep getting paid millions of dollars to play a game.

The mother who almost lost 2 daughters...well...

...I only hope she gets freedom of sleep one of these days.

A Quick Mention from the illest of funk

Hey y'all....

I wanted to drop a quick note (to my 1's and 1's of readers all across the world) on short, short notice about a worthy organization that I am going to hurt myself VERY BADLY for in about 19 hours or so from the time of this post.

Here's the deelio...

My youngest son, who I like to call "the child who couldn't b quiet with duct tape and crazy glue restricting his vocal orifice" was born with Down Syndrome. Now, I could be like those commercials and say crap like this...

"Hi, I am G. Eric Francis...you know me from doing big hogs like Sally Struthers and drinking the bathwater of Janet Jackson, Haley Berry, and Megan Fox. Well, today I want to bring to your attention a story about a young boy....sexy (unlike me, who's uglier than an un-made corpse) and he was born with Down Syndrome. This is a subject that is near and dear to my heart, because the judge ordered me to learn about it because of that whole "bathwater drinking/stalking" charge that I had to plea-bargain out of. I come to you to ask for your help, and your Kit-Kat bar money, and donate to Down Syndrome Indiana. I am their spokesperson (well, they were going to ask Prince to do it, but they felt that he came up, um, well, "short" of what they had in mind)...."

You get my point.

Anywho, this is a great organization, and well, tomorrow I am going to give up my only weekend day to sleep (whatever, I am unemployed, I have PLENTY of time to sleep) and drag my 264 lb tail around a 2.6 body of green sludge to raise awareness. So, I am asking the 1's and 1's of my fans for support...

...and ur friggin money.

I want you to feel good about yourself...even if you have body odor, can't get a date if you fell into a calender, or you are so geeky, Bill Gates says to you "shit, you are a friggin geek!"

These folks are called those with "special needs", but let's get real. Y'all know how I feel about "politically correct" crap like that (wait, I said "Y'all", like anyone reads my shit; that's why I write every 60 days or so lately). My soon got an extra chromosome, and he will learn slower than other kids.

But, he is still a great kid, and if ya go right HERE not only will you read about the lad, u'll think he's cute, and you'll pull out ur credit cards and make a donation...:)

Yeah, this blog is about "grub for your mind", but I'm going for your pockets today (since, well, all my ads hadn't done shit to help pay my bills...thanks a lot, cheap asses...:)

All jokes aside, perhaps I am feeding you a new meal on the menu....a meal of generosity. I hope that you like the main course with a side of please help a great organization out (it's fat free, and u'll feel good, I swear!)

I am ghost...I hope the world checks out this crap, and donate. The walk is on October 10th, and donations cut off at I believe 10 AM EST.

Anyway, before I go....a few passing thoughts...

1. Yo mammas r da shit...unless their, like, Eminem's mom...she sounds like a raving bitch.

2. Wrapping your penis in a garbage bag just isn't as good as latex.

3. Ellen DeGeneres is one cool lesbian.

4. If you are truly depressed and you can't decide if you wish to kill yourself, watch "Hope Floats" with Sandra Bullock and Harry Connick Jr. If you are not slicing and dicing the wrists like tomatoes doomed for a salad after it's over, it isn't too late for you.

Anyway, I'll see y'all later (and all jokes aside, I'd appreciate the support if you chose to donate).