Through the fire and the flames.

11:11 on a Wednesday night, kids are chillin, callin' it a night, and the spouse and G r watching the "Idol", wondering if talent even bothered to follow...

Ok, enough of my failed rap career.

Ugh..this isn't gonna b a long rambling one on this trip, folks.

Sadly, I don't have much to chat about.

Yeah, I could ramble on about the President of the U.S. probably committing political suicide with this "health insurance reform" thing. I butted heads with the spouse, who is convinced that this will be the end of the U.S., including an appearance of Jesus to usher in Armageddon.

But it's done, so I won't rehash what I've done w/other folks on "FaceCrook."

I will, b4 I move on, say 'sup to those folks who will get their jobs yanked in the student loan industry due to the other "under the radar" bill having the Feds taking over.

Ugh...Barack...b careful...u r playing Russian Roulette with a loaded gun.

(Even tho I give u kudos for being the first prez in my lifetime who actually...oh shit...kept a promise to his constituents...despite some major flaws in the execution...and the explanation).

Won't discuss the kids this route...even tho I may go there in a "parenting is like having ur soul removed by a Dyson" post in the near future.

I guess I will drop a funkadelic about life. There was a former college classmate of mine who lost her dad last week, and I found out about it a few days later. I gave my condolences, which felt really friggin' empty (even tho it was heartfelt). I have never dug the condolence thing, cuz, well, people do try to b nice, but it really doesn't do shit for the person who has to put someone they love in the ground, never 2 c their faces again.

My folks r still here, but my dad in particular is in poor health, due to a condition he has that has destroyed his speech and hearing, and reduced a man who used to beat folks 1/2 his age at sport barely able to walk up a flight a steps.

I dig the whole "circle of life" thing (it ebbs and flows, according to Simba, anywho). Assuming I don't die from a massive heart attack (cupcakes at midnight is a bitch), I will face what most kids who survive have to face. I am sure that folks in the "cyberspace" world, as well as the few folks who care to call moi on that fateful day, will offer the same type of words to me, as I did to my former college associate.

I am sure that it will b heartfelt.

As I was a few days ago to a dear and classy woman.

But ugh...too bad it isn't magic.

Dead is dead.

Empty is empty.

But if any word means anything...or is anything a salve to help slightly, I hope someone says this to me when it's "my turn" to feel that what I fear....

"They loved you."

In that, more than "I am sorry for your loss", is the one truth. The thing that, perhaps as you cry on the day they place the shell that held ur mom or dad on this earth into the ground, cause u to at least smile slightly. Maybe begins to close the hole.

Maybe never shut it...

...but put a little fencing up, as u begin the journey on this earth as the courier of ur family history.

Heavy.

But like my former college associate...if the job was done well...they'll be fine.

FaceCROOK...or how we lost being old school

The "Stoop."

Or driving down an old country road with some friends, listening to the 8-Track/Cassette tape/CD to some great song.

Playing stickball in some city schoolyard...

Or whatever you did where you just around friends, or perhaps grabbing a drink (not that I condone underage drinking...well, I condoned it for myself, but I am a parent now, and that's a big f'ing difference, damn it)...just...communicating.

Sigh.

That's all dead now, isn't it?

When I met my wife and we starting fu...oh, I mean dating, I remember one time, where we had no iPhones, no mp3's, no online gaming, no notebook and 5 computers put together, torn apart, and some 48 re-encoding of music tracks, we broke out some of her old 45s and we sang, danced, and just laughed to the wee hours of the morning. We, well, talked.

We didn't "IM" (even tho we did that as well, but only because we missed each other, and had yet moved in together). And we didn't watch TV without watching it...me trying to figure out how to upgrade my computer, being never satisfied, and my wife, whom I am approaching a 10 year anniversary of marriage, is currently, well, doing SOMETHING on her notebook.

I used to know everything she does...because technology didn't wreck the human race yet.

Now don't get me wrong...I like my toys. My best friend is the master of toy collection...he's my sensei...my goal of reaching the ultimate in...cutting off the rest of humanity, instead of being part of it.

(Nothing personal, old salt...just trying to illustrate a point...nuthin' but heterosexual, non-booty time love for ya:)

I think back to my time growing up, when all I wanted to do during the school year was to get my homework over with, chase after girls (that I'd never catch), and hang out at my best friend's house and talk movies, sports, the aforementioned subject of the opposite sex (BTW, while my boy didn't have quantity, he made up in QUALITY...there were no leashes needed on his women), and just, well, be around and enjoy each others company. We didn't "text" in the Bronx...we yelled up to get each other's attention.
It was people who enjoyed being around one another, just a group of buds just, well, hanging out.

The Atari 2600 was the biggest tech there was when I was growing up (the VCR too...sorry, BetaMax) but it didn't separate us into tiny bits of electronic data. We could feel body heat, and laugh at bad breath, or poor choice in clothing. It was real...it was fun...

...it was, well, being human beings.

Fast forward to 2010. Some 27 year old created a "social networking site" on this, don't get me wrong, mostly wonderful information superhighway, and became a billionaire. There are people that, thanks to sites such as "Facebook" that I probably would have never spoken to again (even tho there are a few that I could of done without...and no, I'm not telling you). We have come from cellular phones in big bags for antennas to phones that can help us find our way, look up information, take videos, and for those lonely folks out there, play porn (even tho I am sure certain fluids from watching these types of films may end up damaging the equipment).

I do enjoy my toys...even tho it may have come at the cost of any chance of me retiring.

But wow...folks will post on "Twitter" that they're taking a shit, but won't pick up a pen and write an old friend anymore. They will share a joke on Facebook for their 3,000 "friends" (and really, do u like even half of the folks on ur friend's list? I mean, like, to go out at 3 AM if they needed help to change a tire?), but won't sit down in a bar and have a drink to catch up.

Back in the day, I used to attend "AOL" parties...it was, for a brief moment of time, where I actually felt that I was semi-popular, and people thought I was cool. Probably would of never happened without technology.

Funny thing is, as soon as I got married, all those folks decided to, well, "delete me" from the "hard drives" of their lives.

Hmmm.

Makes me want to pick up a pen and write down each name of the people who wouldn't be caught with me in public.

Oh wait....I've been so used to typing on a computer keyboard, it hurts my wrist when I write more than a few sentences.

One more thing b4 I dive back into technology.

My 7 year old son's life only consists of how he can get back to play "Lego whatevervideogamehecangethishandsoncuzhehasnosocialskills, level II." If he isn't doing that, he's on his iPod playing more games.

His one friend is a mirror image of him...with one advantage.

He actually goes out and plays sports...he plays kids games with, well, kids....

...not over a Wi-Fi connection.

Wow...wish I could build a big ol' "Stoop" to gather all those who have affected me, one way or another, and have a conference.

No iPhones, notebooks, or Facebook accounts allowed.