A bullied-short pslam from the church of future

You know, I am not going to lie and say I never made a comment or a joke about someone's sexual orientation, race, religion, or whatever.  I am a personal believer that very few subject are taboo to humor.  But when you are evil about that shit; when you are degrading about someone, just to crush their souls to the point where they end up taking their own lives, well, that just makes you a murder and a punk ass bitch/asshole.  It just sickens me every time some kid, who does't have the maturity to say "fuck off' to other kids who don't understand how they are destroying lives, can't take it anymore and ends it all, it makes me wish that there was some law to hold those who drove them to that point responsible.  It is no better than any hate crime, except their words are the murder weapon.

Just my two cents, but it makes me worry about my own hypersensitive oldest...all the damn time.

I need to get something that works soon.  My boys can't leave where they go to school.  Not that it can't happen to them where they are; kids are fucking stupid no matter where u live.

Sorry for the f'bombs, but as someone who was bullied himself/a social outcast a few times, my heart goes out to these families, and these lost souls.

Now back to the NBA Playoffs.  That's more important, right?

And onto other, bigger, stupid problems...

....America.

Home of what the chicken snot are we doing to ourselves, where 90% of the paper resides in the hands of old men who if they could, would grab a big ol' bottle of "White Out" and remove the Constitution.

Wait, perhaps they have done that already, huh?

I am sorry that I have been gone so damned long, but that pain in my ass called life has been blocking my synapses from writing something funky, deep, possibly funny to those who get the joke, or just rambling because this blog doesn't cost me anything but time not collecting paychecks.

However, in the several months that I haven't dropped some useless words on my millions (and I mean million) of fans, first, a commercial break, a bit of silence for Mr. Dick Clark.  A man who proved that music can come from every area, every race, every place.  Cuz music ain't color, it's joy.

Ok, enough of that bullshit.

(Not the music part, but you know, me delaying crap).

I just got bitchslapped by family members recently at a recent roast (oh wait, family get together) where I was lambasted because my oldest kid, who hasn't listened less to me in nearly 10 years than deaf people have their entire lives, pissed me off one time too many and, well...I sold his shit (computer and Xbox).

By law, I am only supposed to supply food, shelter, and clothing to my result of 10 seconds of pleasure (which is leading to so far 10 years of pain, w/more to follow).

Hey, can't whoop ass like slaves like my folks used too (which makes me chuckle, as that a black family, u would think WHIPPING FOLKS WITH STRAPS WOULD BE THE LAST THING U'D DO...BUT ANYWHO), cuz they'll call the police on u.

Beginning to wonder if being someone's jail bitch is less painful than parenthood.

Anyways, his grandmother gets him a new machine, so I can't sell that one...but u know, nothing beats being told that, well, u were too harsh as a dad.

Umm...can I get a DeLorean, so I can go back to the 1970's and 80's?

It is amazing how the memory of parents tends to conveniently go away when called to task on what you may have done to ur children...even if the kids really deserved it...

...and trust me, I deserved it.

But as I enter my 2nd decade of parenthood, I know I can use work.  I got a friend who would slap the shit out of their kid, and their kids still do things that piss them off.

I shake my head, as that I know that all kids are, well, friggin' stupid like the characters in "Dumb & Dumber."

Then again, so was I.  Actually, as I was calmed down by my wife last night because the same kid who just received a $600 computer system from his grandmother was being a dick drip, and I, well, sigh...sort of got made and used colorful metaphors to let him know I am the big dick in his house...

...even tho I partially acted like, well, a big dick.

So I apologized...and let him know that I was a stupid kid, to, well, 35 years old or so.

The point is...it seems that even tho I make my mistakes as a parent, it ain't even in the crime log of life compared to how folks are raising their kids.

Hate niggers?  Check.  I have more $ than you, so you are lesser than me, and piss on ya?  That was in 2nd period.

I saw some genius bumper advertising about the current President of the US and we shouldn't "re-nig" and elect him again.

What fine parenting came into that brilliant grown up?

It is like planting seeds in shitty ground, over and over again, to get the weeds of stupidity and discontent.

We don't know any better, right?  It is the only way we know, and of course, even if that means that our kids grow up w/a ghetto mentality, or act as that they deserve everything because "mumsy" and "father" got paid and think they are gods, that is the excuse, validating dumb-assness.

My oldest said about a month ago that all black people are supposedly poor.

Of course, his black father has purchased or built him 6 computers in 5 years...4 + of those where he was unemployed.

Now, where he got that from, I'll never know.  It sure as hell wasn't from me, nor his Caucasian mother.

But I bet that somewhere in school, that seed was planted by the previous sharecropper (and yes, I used that word on purpose), who begat and begat and begat.

Yup, those parents sure have shitty ass memories.

Random Shitroversay Life Cycles

A question to those who have faith.  How did u find it?  Y do u depend on something as a human being you cannot touch, talk to, feel, or just know it's there?  It is interesting, because my mother relies on it, even as she goes through possibly the most difficult time in her existence.  Sadly, faith can't write large checks for you...it would gain more followers that way, tho.


I don't' have any faith; my negativity has gotten better over the years, as I have become a father and try to stop the generational pathway of self destruction that seems to mostly befit this last name I have (note, their are a few exceptions).  But that is superstitious b.s.  Like ignorance, it seems that the mistakes of the father is begotten onto the son...unless one stops it.

A friend told me that I should not get old and say "why didn't I do that?"  So I am slowly writing again, and hope to be published on Amazon by the end of the year.  Yet sadly, I don't know if I care.  I do know that it will be too late to provide that safety net I and my family needs now.

I don't really need to post on a public forum...but it is the only way that I can to let folks know that everyone's problems are large to THEM; but some know how to face them and win...or survive them when they lose.

I don't know if I have been or ever will be that man.

A friend on here said that I have, well,  a lot of friends.  But it is easy to say that on a computer screen...I guess the way I grew up, b4 computers and social networking, folks picked up a phone or stop in to make sure their friend is OK...or at least ask them out for a beer.  Human interaction is dying a slow, painful death, isn't it?

Ray, sorry that I am rattling again.  I am probably just, well, tired.  Tired of trying to protect my kids from what is probably inevitable.  For being selfish at times.  Lying to my wife, telling her we are going to b ok.

Anywho, on a side note, Train is an awesome band.  Listening to their catalog...and they covered "Umbrella" better than Rihanna's original.

Forgive me...as I said, I'm just...soul tired.  Then again, there are folks who don't have computers, iPhones, HDTV's, car stereos, hell, FOOD for tonight's meal.  So, I guess I shouldn't bitch so loudly and publicly.

I apologize for my whiny weakness.  But I don't apologize for how my problems are kicking my ass...my wife's (slimming) ass, and how my kids have no idea how their Caucasian-shielded world is about to be shattered.

That is the big part that worries me most of all.  Ain't the movies, and a lot of times there are not wrapped up in the script happy endings.

$.  It won't buy happiness...but it will finance the search.

I need a better banker.