About The Funk...

Observational Spittle from the mind of a man of color in his 40s, without the color added (most times). Come in, laugh, and you may learn something...

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Saturday, November 18, 2017

The BITCH of it All (to all the ladies)

May I have a few minutes of your time folks?

I wanna talk about a word that I sadly use WAY too much.

For those who have taken the time to know me, y’all know that I try to have the best intentions in mind in whatever I do. However, due to what is expected of males in this society, my upbringing in the NYC, or plain ignorance, I use the word BITCH waaaaaaaaaay too much.

Now I have been thinking about this lately, especially with all the news about men losing their damn minds when it comes to how little they think of the opposite sex.

Y’all have heard me quote Chuck D many a time (Without Mothers they’d be no brothers...w/o sisters they’d be no misters). Starting with my own mom, even in her current state one of the most dignified people I’ve ever known, I have always held women in high regard throughout my life.

However, I also have had a weakness for them too, which is why I didn’t get married to nearly 31...based on what was originally a hookup.

The word “bitch” can take on a variety of different meanings....none of them flattering, to be honest.

Guys call each other “bitch” to signify that they are weak...like a stereotypical woman.

A woman who acts like a “bitch” is simply an unpleasant, bitter, evil, pick any unflattering description person.

Stop “bitching” means you complain and nag too much...like a stereotypical woman.

I can go on for a while, but I am trying to get my 11-year-old to go to sleep (and yes, I know it is 5:42 in the early evening as I write this).

I have a horrible habit of referring to women I don’t know as “that bitch.” Not proud of it, but it is sort of programmed into my dome, and sometimes it is hard to turn off.

“That bitch is crazy.”

That is one of my guilty “favorites”, sadly.

“Bitch has lost her mind.”

I usually say that when I am watching “Maury” (it’s been a longer furlough than usual; don’t judge me)...or watching anyone in Congress continue to butt-shiv fellow Americans.

Now you ladies are good for calling each other bitch a lot, which like how the “n” word is used sometimes as a term of endearment by those of the chocolate/mocha/does he had a white daddy persuasion, makes little sense to me as well. I have heard it used as a term of endearment between women who have been friends for years. But, much like if a Caucasian attempts to use the term “my n.....”, it isn’t taken well if folks who are not in the group it usually applies to use it.

We have never been a logical species.

Women (besides minorities and all other folks who aren’t worried white males in power) in my eyes have always been fucked over the world over (literally and figuratively) since the minute Eve bit that apple (if you believe in that sorta thing). They are other looked upon as just ass or “2nd place” beyond men.

That’s just stupid, because some of the most brilliant people I’ve ever met are women. Makes no sense they generally make less than guys (except in my house, cause my girl...sorry ladies, I call her my girl cuz she is...makes about 33% more than I do), are looked at nothing more than conquests and baby makes by a good majority of men (despite their public persona saying otherwise).

How is it right that a bunch of men get to decide what women do w/their bodies?

Last time I checked guys didn’t bleed every 28 days, give birth, deal with breast cancer (well, most of the time), are gawked at like Wile E. Coyote does the Road Runner , and generally are thought of in a lot of ways as property.

And that doesn’t even cover how a lot of ladies are pressured to make sure their hair “is did”, makeup is on point, and can’t even dress “sexy” because it makes some dudes think it is a free vagina pass.

I am a dude, and I have NO IDEA what women have to...well, I sorta do, with that whole excess melanin thing that makes it black wabbit season in this country. I think I can relate somewhat, because in a lot of ways minorities and women are generally looked upon as LESS than.

But I am also part of the problem. “Bitch” ain’t cool. I am not saying that some ladies don’t deserve to be called as such (just like, even tho a lot of folks of color would agree, there are some folks who play the “n” part sadly because they think that is what is expected of them). I guess that while I can’t promise that I can stop, I have to think about this...if my Caucasian associates thought it was cool to say to me “What up (insert the several dozen derogatory ways I can be describe because of my race)”, even if they say they meant nothing by it, I’d had to slap a....

Well, you get my point.

I will finish with this (since Noah is now asleep...yay!).

I love all women, cuz as far as I am concerned, y’all bleed red (horrible joke just popped in my mind....damn it) just like I do, are better built than most men (that’s why y’all can have babies and outlive us; you have seen how we men act when we are sick or get a paper cut) and should be treated like anyone else who deserves it...with respect and as equals.

Doesn’t mean that a few of y’all are just mean fuckers and deserve to be calls that “b” word.

Hey, goes both ways.

I have run into (and have been) a few assholes in 48 years.

Hope all of y’all enjoy your holiday next week.

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