About The Funk...

Observational Spittle from the mind of a man of color in his 40s, without the color added (most times). Come in, laugh, and you may learn something...

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Saturday, June 6, 2009

What did the "Cos" Say?

Children are, well, stupid.

I hate to tell all of u parents out there who think you lil' Susie, Bobby, Fu'quan (for those black folks who pull names out of their dingleberries, thinking they are being Afro-Centric...u're not; u r pulling names out of a bowl of Alpha Bits). They may know how to run computers, talk about the stock market (like the 7 year old who began to discuss that during my son's birthday party on Saturday), or walk around like they are the next Tyra Banks or Heidi Klum.

They may have the jump on some kids, but put them in an adult situation, and my farts would have a better chance of getting out of it.

While listening to the great comedian and social commentator Bill Cosby vent on his classic "Himself" comedy LP/CD/MP3 (or whatever generation you are from), he mentioned that kids are "Brain Damaged."

I didn't appreciate that when this comedy masterpiece came out in the early 80's, as that I was one of those injured-brain individuals he was talking about.

But, now that I have small children of my own (shooting the baby-makin' juice, oh, 6 years too late; I'd be 2/3's home free by now if I got married and matured earlier), I see now why my parents looked at me like a orangutan on crack.

My child, after having us spend money we don't have (as that we are a 1-income family) to have a party and take 8 of his classmates to a movie (at $12.25 each for popcorn, soda, candy and admission), later in the evening called his mom a loser.

Now, my daddy, back in the day when you could put your size 11's in a child's ass for that disrespect, would of beat the "black" off me till I was "whiter" (or "Caucasian-er") than Matt Laurer for that shit. However, as that today's children, despite my "stupid" claim, are smart enough to rat us out for, oh, DISCIPLINE, and I'd have my over 40 proctology exam from a big burly guy named Marvin on a daily basis while doing time for "child abuse."

So, perhaps I will rephrase my original statement...today's children are pretty f'in smart, as each generation gets smarter than the last.

But common sense still doesn't show up till much, much later...if at all. Some of the smartest people are know are no more than friggin' lemmings, following other lemmings off of a cliff (note, this is a myth, as I just discovered, but hell, let's be stereotypical about rats, shall we? Not like I'd get sued for libel.)

So, as I banished my child off to bed (instead of letting him stay up till midnight so he can enjoy most of the 24 hrs a birthday takes up), I looked at my dear spouse, whose feelings were clearly hurt, and I just sighed internally...

...wishing I could send my own "lemming" over a cliff, so perhaps the fall will knock some sense into his ass.

"Brain Damaged", Bill Said.

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