About The Funk...

Observational Spittle from the mind of a man of color in his 40s, without the color added (most times). Come in, laugh, and you may learn something...

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Monday, May 31, 2010

LustRaptureillfunkybutness...or, beauty and the beast


This will b a short one...got some ribs and crap to eat...or whatever my friend is serving today on this remembrance of folks who have a bigger sack (or the ladies who r out on the front lines too) than I'll ever have.

The other day while running errands I saw a very attractive female who would, in a different non-married life, would of fit in my "bone-house", so to speak. Everything was working and well proportioned...and she actually took a moment to smile at me as we passed by. Now, for a fat black man, this makes his day, cuz, well, it's nice that the beautiful take pity on the dog-faced.


...this got my dome to start spinning it's wheels for a moment, and I actually felt a little bad for checking her "boom boom pow" out. Not only cuz I am married (and my spouse has plenty of the boom boom pow to keep moi happy), but, well, it just made me realize how shallow my species is when it comes to checking out the opposite sex.

For all I know, she may be a psycho hose beast, or, to quote the late, great Christopher "Notorious B.I.G." Wallace, it "smells like sanitation."

I mean, we always based interactions with folks, whether we want to sleep with them or just be "seen" (more social graces which is all bullshit in my honest op) on what they look like, or what car they drive, or how much money they have (and if they are willing to spend it on you).

I've been friends with all types in nearly 41 years of breathing....the hot ones, the ugly ones, the skinny ones, the ones who are so fat they can't wash their private parts cuz the fat's in the way, etc. Have dated both ends of the equation, too.

I guess it's sad, cuz, well, we as a human race are generally all f'd up.

If we are lucky, we're all gonna get old, ugly, saggy, and, yes, "smell like sanitation" (sit next to an old, old person...you can smell the flesh dying...just a fact, no matter how much ya scrub and cover it up with lotion, kids).

The funny thing is, if you get with a female or dude cuz they're hot, what happens when that fades?

Bet you wish the worse problem you'd have after that goes away was that the crotch was like a garbage can, huh?

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