No, as far as I know, I am not terminally ill.
Yesterday my dear spouse had a little bit of drama with her job. She had to complete something online that, if not completed, would have caused her massive drama. The bloody thing wouldn't start with a damn, and after I stayed up until questions trying to help her, I gave up.
Did one thing before I threw my hands up.
I asked God to let her get through this, because the woman has enough on her plate.
This mkrning, after she posted about her dilemna, one of her co-workers helped her out. She isn't out of trouble yet, but she now has a shot to do what she needs to do.
Now God and I haven't had a good relationship in my 47 years. Personally I simply don't get his way of thinking ming (assuming God actually "thinks" like humans do; I am guessing that He doesn't have a "brain", per se). I have questioned many of his decisions:
1. Why disasters take place?
2. Why do little kids have to die?
3. Why did he left the 108 years go by for Cuba fans before he said, "Let them have 1?"
4. How did he let a racist, bigoged, (possible) sex offender, birther (a word I never heard of until POTUS 44 showed up) all around Richard get the osteoporosis powerful position in the world?
5. Why haven't I won the Lottery? Seriously?
You know, deep crap like that.
The biggest query of all I personally have is how can he let a faithful servant like my mom go out the way she is going?
Sigh.
So, I don't get him, and I am sure those of him who follow his word don't totally get him eifher.
But that isn't the point, is it?
I had an associate once who is an Atheist. He said he never got into a debate with anyone who believed in God because he knew he could never win, despite the scientific proof to the contrary.
Why?
Faith.
It cannot be proved to exist, but Christians have it. Even if the shittiest day takes place, so bad that it a country song, they have that to buoy them.
In a lot of ways, I am a little jealous of that, even if the entire thing ends up being the greatest scam the world has ever known.
As for me?
Well, it's been a rough 10 years. Not as rough as others (have had a few conversations with some folks who would have me beat on that route), but it hasn't been fun. Whenever shit hits the fan (with my brood, it always revolves around $) somehow we find a way (via a last minute change of luck or the unexpected kindness of others) to survive.
I don't think science has anything to do with it.
I have lived my life where, if hell exists, I am on a Lear Jet speeding towards it. Scares me a tad. However, even with that, despite what family think of me (which outside of a few individuals on both sides of my married equation is very little, especially since this election) I am not that bad of a person. And someone is watching over me, which I hope continues.
Some folks don't understand that their lives probably will keep on keeping on.
I worry for my sons, as well as some myself.
So whether it is God or whom/what ever, I hope I stay in good graces...and I am thankful.
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