About The Funk...

Observational Spittle from the mind of a man of color in his 40s, without the color added (most times). Come in, laugh, and you may learn something...

90 Things That Irritate The Sh** Out Of Me Trailer

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The Un-Politically Correct Domain

You know, domain-ites, if this blog was actually read by more people than my siblings, my Mom (who, being a Devout Christian female, hates my spittle; now if we were a Kentucky family, she'd think my spittle would be sexy...ok, made myself sick there, let's move on!) perhaps folks would of noticed that for the first time in my young blogging career I let more than 48 hours pass when I didn't share my funkydopeflynessoffthefizzhizzlenizzleness observations with the world.

I needed therapy, I'll send you the bill for the bottle of Jack Daniels I can no longer drink because I've been "domesticated" (i.e., married and more mature; OK, married, the mature part was utter bullshit).

Anyway, just for leaving me be, I am going to rap about something that, well, bugs me a little bit...and probably will tick off the few people who bother to check out my blog (and will probably cause another well intentioned phone call from my mom about the subjects I care to share with the world on this thing).

You see, I have a special needs child, who is the most adorable kid EVER (at least in my humble opinion). Yesterday my wife and I went to his future school so he can be evaluated by therapist so we can put together an education plan for the little tyke. While answering a myriad of questions from the 3 ladies in the room, our little "disabled" child started to blow us away by doing things that we didn't think he could do, because, well, he's "special."

The kid has Down Syndrome...but good lord, he, beyond being developmentally delayed, is friggin smart, and the little half-breed (hey, I'm his dad; I can call him that) has been holding out on us.

Totally impressed his future teacher and therapist...and his folks, too.

Now, based on their observations, he is about at the level of an 18 month old kid.

He'll be 3 next month.

Does that mean he'll never do anything in life? Hell no...hell, he could be the first DS president, or a porn star...personally, I am hoping for the porn...his daddy, while he cannot touch, will be more than willing to sit in as a camera man.

(Hey, don't think I'm creepy...i used to change the kid's diapers,and silicone looks so lovely under proper lighting).

Anyway, onto my point.

There was a commercial when I was kid that stated "words hit like a fist...don't hit your kid." Always stuck with me, 'cuz words when I was growing up have had a negative impact on my life...it's the old saying that if you hear something enough times, you'll begin to believe it.

Now my boy I am sure as he goes through school will be picked on, and will be called ignorant shit like "retard" and the like, even though the boy isn't retarded (and even if he was, so what; it is part of who he is; more on that in the finale of this flick).

However, there are facts that even I as his dad I cannot ignore.

He will probably (operative word being PROBABLY; this kid sat up and tried to get out of his crib 5 hours after major heart surgery...I put nothing past that Mofo) be behind other kids. It's a fact; tis the cards he was dealt.

He will be lucky to hit 5 feet, and probably will be under that. So, sadly, he won't be able to save my pitiful New York Knicks...too bad, cuz he can catch and pass like a son-of-a-gun.

In short, my kids is different due to an extra chromosome. It makes him what he is...a little behind mentally, shorter than most kids, and a possible victim for some jackass kid (or kids) in the future.

But he is also the sweetest kid, gives the best kisses and hugs, and has already touched plenty of lives...

And he's just getting started.

He has Down's...it sucks. But I don't treat him any differently than anyone else. I used to, but someone got me over it. If he screws up, he gets punished just like my other knot-headed "normal" boy.

I've booed and covered my ears as a bunch of DS kids sang at a walk to raise funds for the local chapter of the DS support groups here.

They sucked...they were tone deaf; it was like listening to rapid fire farts in a tin can.

What? Was I supposed to be nice and applaud because they have Down's?

They couldn't sing...perhaps they would be better as architects, or artists, or hell, even as a guitar player in a band if they loved music that much.

But just because they were born differently doesn't mean I should treat them with kid's gloves.

Politically correctness is stupid. I don't support being mean spirited and evil to those with disabilities is f'd up, and I don't support it.

But hey, "handicapped" folks...if you can't move your toes because of a disease or accident or whatever, you're crippled.

Does that make me any better than you?

Hell no!

A "crippled" girl was my great heartbreak...has had negative effects on my life even today.

Oh, and last I heard (via my lovely college's alumni magazine) she was a big shot in the publication department of a Fortune 500 company (after graduating with a Journalism Degree), had a couple of kids, and was quite happily married.

While my "walking" ass can't even get a phone call for an interview, and have to hope for unemployment extensions from the Federal Government.

Remember the controversy surrounding last summer's comedy "Tropic Thunder?" The entire "retarded" comments and t-shirt crap?

Certain people really need to stop being so damned sensitive.

There are retarded folks on this planet. It's a fact...due to whatever reason, they got a bad hand of cards. However, as in any other group of people, there are really smart ones that do well in this world, and there are those who push the carts out of the parking lots at your local grocery store.

The wonderful thing about comedy is that it allows folks to laugh at all parts of life...and did anyone ask a "retarded" person if he or she laughed at the inane comments in the film, thinking to themselves "That Ben Stiller is a dumbass!"

I am sure there are a few folks who disabilities out there who took it for what it was...a joke.

People, there are plenty of "normal" folks who are either too lazy, too uninspired, or just don't give a crap to make something better of themselves.

"Normal" and "non-conformity" are a matter of opinion, domain-ites.

There are stupid people, folks with no damned sense, and losers. Just the way it is. And there folks in wheelchairs who can do anything (Umm, FDR, anyone? I believe he had a pretty good job before he passed away...and he didn't do too much jogging), and there are those who sit around feeling sorry for themselves.

Folks who cannot move from the neck down, or from the waist down, or from the penis down...whatever, they have a CRIPPLING condition that 99% likely will be there for the rest of their lives.

But let me throw out some more names here.

Christopher Reeve, who proved in his too shortened life that he was a true "Superman"...and had to friggin breathe through a straw.

Chris Burke, who travels all over the country going to every Down Syndrome walk in the U.S.; a fine actor (and a constantly working one; check out his IMDB info (and the quote on it is one of the funniest I've heard in my lifetime).

But Mr. Reeve was crippled, and Mr Burke has Down's.

A fact is a fact. But they didn't let their shortcomings stop them from changing the world, and how it sees folks like them.

Sort of like Dr. King...or, more recently, the soon to be 44th president of the United States.

Not bad for folks who, supposedly, can only rob, steal, and not support their 42 kids.

Words hit like a fist...remember I mentioned that? Words only hurt for 3 reasons...one, if it is the truth. Two, if you start to believe it is the truth. And finally, if you let them hurt you.

A final point (or 12, knowing me), then I am going to go groom my pubic hairs (they look lovely with jheri curls).

First, I am sure that folks will throw back into my face "well, how come we can't call you 'colored' then" or something like that.

Well, for one (assuming that it would be a white person who said it), Caucasians turn more "colors" than any black person (black and blue, ghostly white, pale and pasty when you croak, etc).

It is an inaccurate description...and, as I mentioned earlier, it's all "PC" crap.

I am a man whose descendants are from Africa. Beyond that...and well, having a deadly weapon in my pants (not due to color or stereotypes; I am just, well, good...lol) I am only different because I am an individual...as is every other Black, White, Hispanic, and so forth person.

Same thing should apply to someone who needs wheels to get around, or due to a bad mix of genetics can't do certain things...they are still individuals.

Finally, the mind is what makes anyone and everyone who they are, what they can accomplish, and what they want it to be, if they choose to use it. A person shouldn't need to be protected by politically correct statements. For either those folks who have a disability, whether it is mental or physical, or its a cultural or lifestyle kind of thing, it is what it is. Hurtful things like the "n" word, or thinking a mentally delayed person is "stupid" or a crippled person is useless just makes the world (if it looks beyond the words) think that the person who's saying it is deathly afraid of it happening to THEM.

Besides, attempting to make a person feel better about inherited (or otherwise) conditions by making "pretty"words ain't gonna, say, make a person get up from their chair and duplicate one of the dance scenes from "Footloose."

In this example, they are crippled...physically.

Doesn't mean they can't conquer the world...

Or run a country...

Or be a great actor...

Or be a cute little nearly 3 year old who shouldn't shock his parents anymore...he's already proved he can do anything...labeled or not.

(Update to da blog on December 10th 2008): I just watched about 25 minutes of "Tropic Thunder" before shutting it off and returning it to Blockbuster. Yes, I can see why folks with or supports of those with disabilities would be offended by the "Simple Jack" thing. However, I stills stand by this blog's words...you are what you believe to be, and while a disability may make things more difficult, it's up to you what type of quality your life is to be. I hope, of course, never to find out what it is like not to walk, or have some sort of brain trauma, or whatever...but looking at my son, and what's he's been through (and what I am sure he'll have to deal with), he'll live...and propser...oh, beside the fact that it was offensive, the movie was just f'ing stupid...:) Ben Stiller, you can do better, bud.

1 comment:

Tug said...

I almost had goosebumps while reading this.
But then you started talking about jheri-curls...

You seem like a great dad. :]