About The Funk...

Observational Spittle from the mind of a man of color in his 40s, without the color added (most times). Come in, laugh, and you may learn something...

90 Things That Irritate The Sh** Out Of Me Trailer

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Brother Athletes, Entertainers, Etc...listen to a broke black man, please!

Tyson. Vick. MC Hammer.

You know, I play the Lottery about 2-3 times a week, hoping against hope that I can escape the likelihood that I will be just another rat in the cage call working for someone else, helping to make some fat cat rich. It always irritated me to no end, working for someone else. I've been out of work, outside a couple of temp assignments, for 18 months, and while i hate working, I hate not having any money more.

As a child, I loved to play baseball, and a friend of mine once said that they have never seen anyone turn on a fastball like I could in my youth.

Sadly, I couldn't say the same on a slider, curve, or anything else that wasn't down the pipe or a mistake over the plate. And my fielding is best describe as Jose Feliciano taking the field, with a little bit of Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, and Bill Buckner on the side.

So, I wasn't going to make lots of cash as an athlete. I am a firm believer that some folks are, well, always going to be poor, most of us may make enough to get by, and a few lucky folks, whether it's talent or good genes, are going to live in the incredible houses, drive the nicest cars, and eat a $200 steak without blinking an eye.

Just the way of the world, I guess.

However, I guess what boggles my mind are those folks who, well, have it all, and for some inexplicable reason, they throw it away.

My wife and I (mostly me, as my wife plays along with it to soothe my ego) often talk about what it would be like to win millions of dollars, and what we'd do with the money. Get a bigger house, set up a trust fund for my youngest, pay for college for the oldest, take care of the parents, and so on and so on.

The big thing for me, however, is to make sure that my azz would never, ever go broke...or return to the time where I didn't know what bill I'd pay. Be too scared to get back there again.

I would think, if one went from the outhouse to the Penthouse, that would make sense.

But let's get to the 3 names I started this entry with.

Mike Tyson I read somewhere made over 300 million dollars in his career.

300 Million Mofo dollars.

Brother is broke, looking like someone went apeshit on his face with all those dumb ass tatoos. (Note, don't tell this to Mike; as that I know he isn't what he was, he could still whup me pretty good).

Michael Vick...lost over $100 million....over a few thousand dollar bets on dogfighting, as well as possibly his career. Now I don't know, but lessee....

$100 Million is > than a few thousand. I sucked at math, but I'm pretty sure about that one.

MC Hammer...sold 27 million albums (don't lie...you know a lot of you bought "U can't touch this")....now is spoofing himself on Nationwide commercials on how he lost it all.

I just can't accept this in my dome that these fellows, and a lot like them, had it all, and then like idiots blew it all. And most of these folks came from poor, uneducated backgrounds.


As that I have never (and probably never will) had that sort of cash lying around, I can't understand how you would just break the neck of the golden goose, and scramble all of her eggs, And it always seems to be the brothers who keep doing this to themselves. It's mind boggling. Now, there are great exceptions (Will Smith, the former "Fresh Prince" pulls nearly 30 mill a film, and the two films his production company has produced have been hits that didn't involve government buildings exploding). But it seems that every time I turn around, I see some famous brother (right, Chris Brown? What's your new song..."Smack that?") totally screwing up and losing everything.

I guess my feeling is, if you hated being poor/broke/average/whatever, why would you want to go back?

Dunno...if I ever get 6 numbers on a winning ticket, I'll ask myself that question as I try to avoid dogs, carrying my "friends" via blowing my fortune, beating up my hot girlfriend (if I was single and had one; I'll go with not beating up the mother of my children, too), or not getting therapy for my anger management problems.

Just a thought.

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