Through the fire and the flames.

11:11 on a Wednesday night, kids are chillin, callin' it a night, and the spouse and G r watching the "Idol", wondering if talent even bothered to follow...

Ok, enough of my failed rap career.

Ugh..this isn't gonna b a long rambling one on this trip, folks.

Sadly, I don't have much to chat about.

Yeah, I could ramble on about the President of the U.S. probably committing political suicide with this "health insurance reform" thing. I butted heads with the spouse, who is convinced that this will be the end of the U.S., including an appearance of Jesus to usher in Armageddon.

But it's done, so I won't rehash what I've done w/other folks on "FaceCrook."

I will, b4 I move on, say 'sup to those folks who will get their jobs yanked in the student loan industry due to the other "under the radar" bill having the Feds taking over.

Ugh...Barack...b careful...u r playing Russian Roulette with a loaded gun.

(Even tho I give u kudos for being the first prez in my lifetime who actually...oh shit...kept a promise to his constituents...despite some major flaws in the execution...and the explanation).

Won't discuss the kids this route...even tho I may go there in a "parenting is like having ur soul removed by a Dyson" post in the near future.

I guess I will drop a funkadelic about life. There was a former college classmate of mine who lost her dad last week, and I found out about it a few days later. I gave my condolences, which felt really friggin' empty (even tho it was heartfelt). I have never dug the condolence thing, cuz, well, people do try to b nice, but it really doesn't do shit for the person who has to put someone they love in the ground, never 2 c their faces again.

My folks r still here, but my dad in particular is in poor health, due to a condition he has that has destroyed his speech and hearing, and reduced a man who used to beat folks 1/2 his age at sport barely able to walk up a flight a steps.

I dig the whole "circle of life" thing (it ebbs and flows, according to Simba, anywho). Assuming I don't die from a massive heart attack (cupcakes at midnight is a bitch), I will face what most kids who survive have to face. I am sure that folks in the "cyberspace" world, as well as the few folks who care to call moi on that fateful day, will offer the same type of words to me, as I did to my former college associate.

I am sure that it will b heartfelt.

As I was a few days ago to a dear and classy woman.

But ugh...too bad it isn't magic.

Dead is dead.

Empty is empty.

But if any word means anything...or is anything a salve to help slightly, I hope someone says this to me when it's "my turn" to feel that what I fear....

"They loved you."

In that, more than "I am sorry for your loss", is the one truth. The thing that, perhaps as you cry on the day they place the shell that held ur mom or dad on this earth into the ground, cause u to at least smile slightly. Maybe begins to close the hole.

Maybe never shut it...

...but put a little fencing up, as u begin the journey on this earth as the courier of ur family history.

Heavy.

But like my former college associate...if the job was done well...they'll be fine.