About The Funk...

Observational Spittle from the mind of a man of color in his 40s, without the color added (most times). Come in, laugh, and you may learn something...

90 Things That Irritate The Sh** Out Of Me Trailer

Sunday, November 23, 2008

What a Yippee-Kay Yay Taught Me About Our Differences

So check this out my domain-in-ites...

(Ok, that sucked the teet of a fat man who had too many donuts, true, but hell, it's 11:34 at night, and G. has to get at 8 AM and take his kid to his weekly Catholic Training...Luke, the 79 saints in the Church are strong in you....Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuke)....

Anyway, Let's move on!

I was messing around with my car stereo (as usual, as my wife in her slumber shivers, since she can't stand my rather expensive habit) setting up some radio station presets in it, and as I hit the scan button, I came across the country station she spends most of her commutes listening to. Now, don't get me wrong, I have probably about 300 or so country tracks on my 'pod (if ya with someone for long enough, u'll pick up some of their likes; however, an overweight black man in cowboy boots and a hat is as about as sexy as the present Day Val Kilmer...geech!) so I have nothing against men and women singing about losing their house/trailer/loves/cats/dog/chew/whatever else they sing about in their twangy compositions .

But, while I was listening to one song that I actually liked, it got me to thinking (and when that happens, evil little thoughts leak out...sort of like that little bit of "after-pee" ladies have to catch before they stand up from the toilet).

Music is truly the great segregator on this planet...especially here in the U.S.A.

Most folks, for example, who listen to country (or play it from bars all the way up to the big arenas all over the U.S.) have nothing in common with other non-country listeners. I mean, hell, I was born in Manhattan, and raised in the Bronx for many years.  I WOULD OF HAVE MY TESTICLES SEWN TO MY LIPS IF I WAS CAUGHT LISTENING TO COUNTRY IN THE 1970s and 1980s.

I grew up on R&B and Hip-Hop (not RAP music; trust me, there is a difference), with some Big Hair Pop-Metal (the Bon-Jovi/Warrant/Whitesnake/Poison and the like) mixed in. But it wasn't necessarily a black/white thing, even though during my formative years, it seemed like that to me. Before folks like Leann Rimes, Faith Hill, and the biggest hitter of them all, Garth Brooks came along (biggest seller of all time except for The Beatles) and actually made "New Country" (not that Randy Travis "I lost my dog because my woman fell in love with him" shit from back in the day) a big deal, let's face it, if you were not a country fan, most folks swore you lived in a trailer, thought Dale Earnhart (or in the 1960s/1970s, Richard Petty) was Jesus Christ, and your sister wasn't too far of a reach to be your "first".

Then again, those gangbangin', gun totin', yo mama is a "beeeyotch" fans of hip hop could be just as offended as well.

But beyond the stereotypes, the stories Country Music tells about life in America (I have to admit, country music truly is "American Bread and Born" music; their is nothing else like it in the world) differ from what I, not only as a person of color and a "city boy" (shit, I just realized I left the door open for an insult..."boy", "man of color"...all those who have higher intelligence than, say, plaque, disregard) can relate to. I mean, I don't own a pickup truck (even though I'd love to drive a Honda Ridgeline; at the time of this blog's writing, I thought those were bad ass vehicles), I don't drown my sorrows in whiskey (and no, I am not going to say "Colt 45" you Billy Dee William mofos) and well, my thoughts about America are much, much different than Toby Keith's.

Musical genres like Country Music really, in a way, separate us; whites, blacks, rich, poor, even intelligent/reasonable folks and complete dumb asses blinded by their political affiliations (once again, thank you, Mr. Keith...as i said in a previous blog, The Dixie Chicks were right about our current Commander in Penis-Head). I mean, you expect Caucasian folks who live in small towns to listen to either Classic Rock, Hard Rock, or Country; you figure inner city kids (who are mostly Black) to listen to R&B and Hip-Hop. If the shoes are on the other foot, the Caucasian kids are trying to be "wiggers" and the Black Folks are "selling out."

But what if a Spanish Person listened, to, say, Tim McGraw? Does that make them "Yippe-Kay-Spicks?"

Or a person of Asian descent is rolling down the street listening to T-Pain? Wait a minute, let me warm this up (rubbing my hands like Mr. Miyagi).....

A ChopSueyJapanigga?

Yeah, that was pretty bad (wax on, wax off).

Now I am not trying to offend anyone by using such ignorant terms. But there is a method to my madness.

For 232 years, this supposed "Great Melting Pot" has subconsciously kept the ingredients that makes America what it is on separate shelves in the pantry. Now there is nothing wrong with cultural traditions at all...I am totally for it. But what about learning about different cultures, or music, or languages, or whatever that makes us difference, so that we are more united? Is that so crazy and offensive that it shouldn't happen?

Possibly. 

Perhaps things like Country Music, with the guys wearing the big 10 Gallon hats everywhere (I always wondered if the guys, while having sex, kept the hats on, then as they were about to climax, in the excitement of the moment their big ass hats fell off, covering the girl's face and suffocating them...a "48 Hours" mystery episode suggestion I am going to send in) is designed to keep their fans (predominately Caucasian folks) as "separate", while maintaining the illusion of "equality" intact.

I mean hell, you never see Kanye West at the Academy of Country Music Awards, right? (And for those who do their research, the only reason Jamie Foxx was there last year was because he was roommates and friends in college with the lead singer of Rascal Flatts). It, in the eyes of many, "wouldn't seem right."

Sigh.

I guess I wish that society was like The Grammys. There are a whole bunch of different "categories" there, all in the same room, appreciating their differences, but sharing in the beauty of each. Hell, even the rich folks semi-mingle with the semi-rich folks in the SAME ROOM.

Wow, what a concept.

Oh well...I guess I am a dreamer...but there is hope.

Darius Rucker, formally of Hootie & The Blowfish makes a Mean Country album.

Charley Pride would be proud.

1 comment:

So Not The Bradys said...

I once thought there was little worse than being trapped in a car for a long ride with someone who was into country music.

That was until I got in the tanning bed once and realized someone had put the radio station on country. That was a long 20 minutes.

I tend to think it's creative things (music, art, writing) that unite us, rather than separate, in some aspects. But the whole country music thing does seem to be a great divider. As in I'd rather give birth in an airplane bathroom than sit through a country music concert.