About The Funk...

Observational Spittle from the mind of a man of color in his 40s, without the color added (most times). Come in, laugh, and you may learn something...

90 Things That Irritate The Sh** Out Of Me Trailer

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The "Brother-Dent" of the Truly UNITED States of America

History has taken place in The United States of America on November 4th, 2008.

"Whose Nailin Paylin"'s is now a collector's item, now that a certain attractive governor is going to fade back into obscurity...until 2012, anyway.

I am upset with myself...wish I thought up the idea of doing that little piece of "cinematic genius" (I also wish my wife was more of a porn fan...but that's another cup of Starbucks Overpriced Frappacino (or however ya spell it) bull-crappy....good stuff, but good lord...$5? And that's just in the Midwest!)

Oh yeah, the first Black/African American/"Brutha" (well, partially "Brutha"; remember, back in the day if you supposedly had more than 10% "black blood"...which, last time I checked, blood had no color before it hit oxygen, and it was all red; try shooting up a bank and see if you can tell black blood from white blood...anyway...) to be elected to the nation's highest office became official about 2 1/2 hours before I started typing this post.


I have a friend (a Caucasian fellow, history graduate who is one of the smartest fellows I have encountered in my nearly 40 years) at my former employer who 2 years ago told me about a junior senator from his home state from Illinois, and he said that don't be surprised that this man would one day become "POTUS"...the big cheese, the No. 1 dog, not only in this country, but on this planet (We may be limping, but we are still the U.S.A.)

I am a dark-skinned skin man of color, and I have watched the newscasts of Blacks, Whites, Hispanics (my best friend, who is Puerto Rican, send me a text message with a smiley face to my phone shortly before President Elect Obama made his victory speech) dancing in the streets...Oprah and Jesse Jackson crying (Jesse's crying probably because he's thinking to himself "shit, that should of been me!") , and general joy throughout the land. As for me...well...

I am sort of divided on the whole thing.

Now, I am sure that as I attempt to grow my readership, and folks look at the title of this blog (especially minorities around the world...if this blog ever grows that large, which is my dream) they will look at me as a "traitor", an "Uncle Tom", etc. As I try to grow readership and you guys look through my blogs, my entire focus is is to make you laugh, but also make you think. I have no problem if you think I am nuts, or you think I may have a point. As I sat here, the clocking pushing 1 AM (and my body reminding me that I am not 27 years old anymore, and I will pay for this like R. Kelly paid for 14 year old girls in his life), I said "yeah, more than likely very few people will read this post."

But if I stimulated thoughts and opinions, even if those opinions were against my own, then the lack of sleep would be well worth it (well, not as much as a roll in the hay, but what the hell, right?)

Anyway, back to me being divided.

My wife is a Republican (albeit a fairly open minded one; even she knows that my pubic hairs would of done a better job than George Bush has the last 8 years), and I am married into a family of "blinders on, no Democrat can do anything right" Republicans (who I am sure is looking to find the nearest liquor store, because this country is dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomed now that Obama is the President-Elect, at least in their non-open minded eyes. They obviously haven't paid attention to the last 8 years...or have been listening to too many country stars like Toby Keith; the Dixie Chicks were right) . I enjoy talking to my spouse because, while at times she gets a little intense, is so damned smart (if overly emotional at times), it is a joy to debate with her. So, when the outcome of the election was no longer in doubt, she grabbed her notebook computer, and before she gave me her customary kiss good night, left with this paraphrased quoted...

"Well, I don't want to hear anything from all these Democrats if Obama screws this up."

She was referring to the fact that the President-Elect has all of 4 years of federal government experience.

And now he is taking on the most difficult job (short of parenthood; at least the most he has to deal with it is 8 years, and he can cut that in half if he chooses) in the world.

And has a gigantic Bush-Poop to flush down the toilet, get some bowl cleaner, and get this country out of its shit-stained mess.

Now my best buddy (the argumentative sort that he is) texts me during his Nirvana (here we are now, entertain us!) and mentions during a text-message debate that the "experience thing" (which is part of my divided feelings on this matter) wasn't that big of a deal when it came to George "White noise between the ears, and the Digital TV conversion ain't gonna help him" Bush. (You notice I never refer to Bush as "President Bush." I have a basic belief when your brother hands you the presidency, u just don't deserve the title). While Bush was, in my humble, ant-sized "can't move a rubber tree plant" opinion, was the worse president in my life time, at least he was a governor, ran a baseball team, and had some semblance of experience in being in charge of things.

President-Elect Obama has....4 years of federal experience. Back and forth, back and forth I go in my mind on this point...it's like a re-shoot at a porn set.

(And yeah, I am using a lot of adult industry metaphors in this post...but hell, if the "money-shot" works, great...grab a towel...damn it, did it again!)

Anywho....the reasoning for my divided feelings on the matter is as follows...

My heart goes out to my mom, my dad, all my aunts and uncles, and every black person over 50 years old who dealt with segregated bathrooms, restaurants, being called every name under the sun, being threatened with death if they tried to vote, who couldn't get a job because of the color of their skin (and those who got jobs because of their ethnic background, and they didn't deserve it; Affirmative Action was a good idea at the time, but people should get theirs on their own merit...period), because this is a moment they thought they'd never see, and they should celebrate. It is a breakthrough in racial barriers, to say the least.

But, logically, here is a man who will have to learn on the job while he cleans up a hell of a mess.

If he can.

So here I am...divided....proud as a man of color for this major point in this country's history...not wanting to "betray" anyone. However, as I have said to my wife (not to my in-laws; they are my baby-sitters, and "Quantum of Solace" comes out on November 14th, and I am not missing me some James Bond), I and everyone else who didn't vote for the man need to give him a chance. 4 years, ya don't like him, you can put back the same old tired rich WASP-Y guys who have kept 95% of the money for the majority of this country's history. I guess my division lies in the feeling that as the first person of color in this position, I hope he does well...if only to diffuse the theory that Black Folks/African-Americans/Homeboys/CrimeDawgs/T.I. fans can only play sports, perhaps hold a few governor and Senate Seats, and so forth, can't handle a job such as the one as Mr. Obama has now won.

My division lies in the fact that I feel that he cannot fail at the task that lies before him now; this goes beyond the racial lines, or smashing the stereotype of intelligence in people of color. He cannot fail because the folks of the U.S.A., which is limping right now, bringing down the rest of the planet with her, need to know that we are trusting this new hope in trust in someone who happens to not burn as easily as "white folks" (or Puerto Ricans for that matter; sorry, old friend, I got you beat on the melanin thing).

So my division is based on cautious optimism, not only to destroy (well, that won't ever go away; NASCAR would have no fans) ignorance due to color, as well as a small smile crossing my face, so I can tell my mulatto/checkerboard/zebra (George Jefferson in the house!)/boys created out of love kids that you can do anything...dreams can come true, as President-Elect Obama said in his acceptance speech.

Or we'll go back to that same ol' good old boys club, which I hope on November 4th finally ran out of Geritol, Depends, and Viagra.

So my division will remain with me, even though it is a hopeful dividing line in my heart.

So, 50 minutes after I started writing this entry in the "Domain", I am ending it with a different vibe from its title...as that ultimately, this is a man who, if his eloquent speeches rang true, should just be the dude who says he wants to change Washington. No "Brother-Dent" required.

So I say...

Congrats to Barack Hussein Obama II, the 44th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Folks who would only vote for the next "American Idol" spoke up on Election Day. They were UNITED.

2 things I'd like to mention to the President-Elect before I go...

1. When they put you up on the White House page, shorten the middle name to "H". Just not a good name to have when we haven't caught that fellow with the bad habit of flying planes into buildings. A little P.R. advice, tis all.

2. Also, Mr. President, after you get sworn in, can ya float me a copy of "Whose Nailin' Paylin"? I hear that chick playing Palin (I believe her stage name is Lisa Ann) is hot!

Good Luck and God's Speed, Mr. President.


So Not The Bradys said...

Definitely an interesting prospective, and one I've yet to hear from most on GMA rambling on saying things like "the president is the same color as I am." I'll not rant about that here. I appreciate what you're saying, though.

I hope he does a good job, too...not because he's black, but because I'm an American, and he's an American who happens to have the opportunity to run our country and hopefully make things better. Black, smlack...I don't give a flying flip what color his skin is.

Ellie said...

This is going to sound strange, but I don't look at him and see a color. I see a man who has little or no experience. I truly hope he can make a difference. I honestly am tired of hearing about what color his skin happens to be. Of everything, that should matter the least. It would be nice someday to be able to say "he was a great president" without adding in "he was the first black president" first. KWIM?

Kimberly said...

I voted for him and I will admit his lack of experience was my biggest concern. But, I feel he showed a good grasp of the issues during his campaign and the debates. He is certainly a very smart man and I trust that he will select a cabinet that makes up for some of his lack of experience. I also believe he's more of a uniter than the other party would have been and it's going to take unity to get us out of this mess (clean up the Bush-Poop as you put it). Good post and interesting perspective though. I too am hoping for the best, because this country deserves it.