Random Shitroversay Life Cycles

A question to those who have faith.  How did u find it?  Y do u depend on something as a human being you cannot touch, talk to, feel, or just know it's there?  It is interesting, because my mother relies on it, even as she goes through possibly the most difficult time in her existence.  Sadly, faith can't write large checks for you...it would gain more followers that way, tho.


I don't' have any faith; my negativity has gotten better over the years, as I have become a father and try to stop the generational pathway of self destruction that seems to mostly befit this last name I have (note, their are a few exceptions).  But that is superstitious b.s.  Like ignorance, it seems that the mistakes of the father is begotten onto the son...unless one stops it.

A friend told me that I should not get old and say "why didn't I do that?"  So I am slowly writing again, and hope to be published on Amazon by the end of the year.  Yet sadly, I don't know if I care.  I do know that it will be too late to provide that safety net I and my family needs now.

I don't really need to post on a public forum...but it is the only way that I can to let folks know that everyone's problems are large to THEM; but some know how to face them and win...or survive them when they lose.

I don't know if I have been or ever will be that man.

A friend on here said that I have, well,  a lot of friends.  But it is easy to say that on a computer screen...I guess the way I grew up, b4 computers and social networking, folks picked up a phone or stop in to make sure their friend is OK...or at least ask them out for a beer.  Human interaction is dying a slow, painful death, isn't it?

Ray, sorry that I am rattling again.  I am probably just, well, tired.  Tired of trying to protect my kids from what is probably inevitable.  For being selfish at times.  Lying to my wife, telling her we are going to b ok.

Anywho, on a side note, Train is an awesome band.  Listening to their catalog...and they covered "Umbrella" better than Rihanna's original.

Forgive me...as I said, I'm just...soul tired.  Then again, there are folks who don't have computers, iPhones, HDTV's, car stereos, hell, FOOD for tonight's meal.  So, I guess I shouldn't bitch so loudly and publicly.

I apologize for my whiny weakness.  But I don't apologize for how my problems are kicking my ass...my wife's (slimming) ass, and how my kids have no idea how their Caucasian-shielded world is about to be shattered.

That is the big part that worries me most of all.  Ain't the movies, and a lot of times there are not wrapped up in the script happy endings.

$.  It won't buy happiness...but it will finance the search.

I need a better banker.