About The Funk...

Observational Spittle from the mind of a man of color in his 40s, without the color added (most times). Come in, laugh, and you may learn something...

90 Things That Irritate The Sh** Out Of Me Trailer

Sunday, May 31, 2015

A ramble, a dimble, a personal thimble

it's 2:03 AM and I need to go to bed.

A lot on the mind.  Starting a new job (albeit a temp one) in 54 hours.  My oldest son is going to be 13 in 6 days.

I, the guy who used to go to AOL parties back in the 90's, am about to be the FATHER of a teen.

I feel like I am at a crossroads.  I haven't worked a full time job (like working an average of 260 days a year job) in 8 years.  My mother and father are not well, and watching them go down the rabbit hole 9well, hearing about it, since I can't get home to see them) is like being stabbed every day but not dying from the wounds.  And most days I feel utterly alone.

I was thinking about quitting writing, but Robin Haslett Landry​ (who wants a sequel to A Prayer For The Dying​), Betsy Wood Bernabe​ (who wants another type of book b4 I hang it up) and my biggest cheerleader, Stephanie Irwin Scarbrough​ would kick my middle-age ass if I did.

My brother Michael called me yesterday; first I've spoken to him in nearly a year.  A local kid who played for IUPUI who he coached drowned this week, busting him him a smidgen.  It was nice to her from him, but it reminds me that I am so ostracized from both sides of my family it's sorta sad.  My boys know nothing about my side of the family, and hell, the (nearly) teen is scared of them.

Because he doesn't know them.

I see folks posting religious verses, but outside of a few of them who are really down for God, these folks make me look like a saint.

And that takes some skill.

The only thing I wanted to do in this life is to write stories for a living (since I couldn't be a disc jockey on a morning radio show), and try to be a good dad to my kids.

My oldest thinks I'm a dick.  Maybe he's right, maybe he is just a dumb kid who doesn't understand that I kick his ass because I love him...and I don't want him to be me.  He's too smart, too good looking, too "not me" to become me.

So much negativity in the world.  No one trusts cops.  Muslims who have nothing to do with shit are getting harassed.  Blind patriotism doesn't make way for good common sense...or what the US is supposed to be about: an example to the rest of the world, not a big ass bully.

It's 2:11 AM.

I guess I need to go to bed.

But first I gotta take my diabetes pill.

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