The "Brother-Dent", Part Deux

America...home of the double digit unemployment rate, can't find a job havin', confused 48 year old black president, headin' towards a Sarah Palin Presidency of the brave.

(OK, maybe the Palin thing was a bit much; that woman is only good for kneepads and bad Katie Couric interviews).

A lot of folks here in the ol' U.S. of A are a little ticked off at our history-makin' prez. Ya see, the man, I believe, didn't read the fine print on the "be careful what you wish for" manifesto when he got picked for this job.

He's had a few flub ups (the xmas plane thing, the major flaws in his health care plan, Joe Biden sticking his own penis in his mouth a few times, etc). He spent his 1st State of the Disjointed (oh wait, I meant "Union") apologizing for the, well, non-existent progress that has taken place under his command. Ok, the Dow has bounced back somewhat...but realistically, that's the only good news that has taken place in the 373 days (as of this posting) the man has taken office.

Now, as a person of color, of course this bothers me a tad, as that the fact that this country, after, oh, nearly 233 years got its head out of its Declaration of Ass-apendence and decided "hey, let's not pick another middle-aged white dude who couldn't give a shit about anyone except, well, other middle aged white dudes, and give the black guy a shot." And while (as I mentioned in my previous post in 2008) I know folks of melanin-surplus are still happy that President Obama hasn't had his ass blown off in the literal sense, there are still plenty of bullets hitting the man due to, well, him not performing the miracle of cutting unemployment in half, kicking bank's asses for putting us into this mess by lending people $ that they knew they couldn't pay back, f'ing around in Afghanistan (note to Barrack: it's never good for the leader of the free world to himmer and hum over a military decision...indecisiveness will get u back to Illinois to cry over the White Sox REAL quick), and general "duh!" moments.

Now, President Obama is a brilliant man, and he can put together a hell of a speech to make you feel good about yourself. And to be honest, I think he is the first guy that I've seen that I don't feel like "eh...he's full of shit!" when he speaks. (Not to say that he doesn't get facts wrong, i.e. like the "you lie!" comment a while back).

Sadly tho, he is a too logical of a man, trying to bring together 2 parties that, well, could give 2 craps about the American public that has put them in their seats in the first place. "We have to be right" is the motto of both their parties, with neither one trying to consult their constituents. And now, with Mr. Obama losing his filibuster-proof majority, he is on a slippery slope that will lead to lame-duck status 2 years before it (may) happen (once the Democrats get swept out of office in November, barring a major comeback of his presidency).

I am not hating on Barrack Obama. It would be an honor to meet the man...if for only the fact that he has shown other melanin-plus folk that you don't have to run a football or have a fancy slam dunk to be someone memorable in this country. In that, he'll go down in history.

However, he's headed towards Jimmy Carter-ville if things don't swing around quickly.

A final point, then I'm gonna make dinner.

No one is giving the guy a break. Have you EVER seen this much coverage of a sitting president in the last 50 years?

President Obama is doing this....Obama is doing that...Obama wiped his ass and tissue was hanging from his trousers.

Gawd, this is why I didn't pursue a career in Journalism, despite my degree. The media is so full of shit, Miralax said "screw that, I can't fix this plug up."

He's black. If this guy was your typical white dude prez, unless we were nuking whatthefuckitscallastan, it wouldn't even get to the late part of the news.

We are holding him to a higher standard because he is "the first"...and that just isn't right. If John McCain won, would the media care (outside if the old fart was wearing Depends during the State of the Union)?

Nooooooooooooooooo.

Be real...at least I am holding him to a standard of this regard...

...perhaps he just didn't read that damned fine print on the "President of the U.S.A" job description.

Well, it may not matter.

If things don't turn around fast, we'll be back to those stiff middle age melanin deprived dudes again...

...or worse, we'll be renting "Whose Nailin' Palin" video if Sarah P gets a shot.

Might as well...we're getting screwed anyway. Might as well enjoy it.

The "Brother-Dent" of the Truly UNITED States of America

History has taken place in The United States of America on November 4th, 2008.

"Whose Nailin Paylin"'s is now a collector's item, now that a certain attractive governor is going to fade back into obscurity...until 2012, anyway.

I am upset with myself...wish I thought up the idea of doing that little piece of "cinematic genius" (I also wish my wife was more of a porn fan...but that's another cup of Starbucks Overpriced Frappacino (or however ya spell it) bull-crappy....good stuff, but good lord...$5? And that's just in the Midwest!)

Oh yeah, the first Black/African American/"Brutha" (well, partially "Brutha"; remember, back in the day if you supposedly had more than 10% "black blood"...which, last time I checked, blood had no color before it hit oxygen, and it was all red; try shooting up a bank and see if you can tell black blood from white blood...anyway...) to be elected to the nation's highest office became official about 2 1/2 hours before I started typing this post.

Wow.

I have a friend (a Caucasian fellow, history graduate who is one of the smartest fellows I have encountered in my nearly 40 years) at my former employer who 2 years ago told me about a junior senator from his home state from Illinois, and he said that don't be surprised that this man would one day become "POTUS"...the big cheese, the No. 1 dog, not only in this country, but on this planet (We may be limping, but we are still the U.S.A.)

I am a dark-skinned skin man of color, and I have watched the newscasts of Blacks, Whites, Hispanics (my best friend, who is Puerto Rican, send me a text message with a smiley face to my phone shortly before President Elect Obama made his victory speech) dancing in the streets...Oprah and Jesse Jackson crying (Jesse's crying probably because he's thinking to himself "shit, that should of been me!") , and general joy throughout the land. As for me...well...

I am sort of divided on the whole thing.

Now, I am sure that as I attempt to grow my readership, and folks look at the title of this blog (especially minorities around the world...if this blog ever grows that large, which is my dream) they will look at me as a "traitor", an "Uncle Tom", etc. As I try to grow readership and you guys look through my blogs, my entire focus is is to make you laugh, but also make you think. I have no problem if you think I am nuts, or you think I may have a point. As I sat here, the clocking pushing 1 AM (and my body reminding me that I am not 27 years old anymore, and I will pay for this like R. Kelly paid for 14 year old girls in his life), I said "yeah, more than likely very few people will read this post."

But if I stimulated thoughts and opinions, even if those opinions were against my own, then the lack of sleep would be well worth it (well, not as much as a roll in the hay, but what the hell, right?)

Anyway, back to me being divided.

My wife is a Republican (albeit a fairly open minded one; even she knows that my pubic hairs would of done a better job than George Bush has the last 8 years), and I am married into a family of "blinders on, no Democrat can do anything right" Republicans (who I am sure is looking to find the nearest liquor store, because this country is dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomed now that Obama is the President-Elect, at least in their non-open minded eyes. They obviously haven't paid attention to the last 8 years...or have been listening to too many country stars like Toby Keith; the Dixie Chicks were right) . I enjoy talking to my spouse because, while at times she gets a little intense, is so damned smart (if overly emotional at times), it is a joy to debate with her. So, when the outcome of the election was no longer in doubt, she grabbed her notebook computer, and before she gave me her customary kiss good night, left with this paraphrased quoted...

"Well, I don't want to hear anything from all these Democrats if Obama screws this up."

She was referring to the fact that the President-Elect has all of 4 years of federal government experience.

And now he is taking on the most difficult job (short of parenthood; at least the most he has to deal with it is 8 years, and he can cut that in half if he chooses) in the world.

And has a gigantic Bush-Poop to flush down the toilet, get some bowl cleaner, and get this country out of its shit-stained mess.

Now my best buddy (the argumentative sort that he is) texts me during his Nirvana (here we are now, entertain us!) and mentions during a text-message debate that the "experience thing" (which is part of my divided feelings on this matter) wasn't that big of a deal when it came to George "White noise between the ears, and the Digital TV conversion ain't gonna help him" Bush. (You notice I never refer to Bush as "President Bush." I have a basic belief when your brother hands you the presidency, u just don't deserve the title). While Bush was, in my humble, ant-sized "can't move a rubber tree plant" opinion, was the worse president in my life time, at least he was a governor, ran a baseball team, and had some semblance of experience in being in charge of things.

President-Elect Obama has....4 years of federal experience. Back and forth, back and forth I go in my mind on this point...it's like a re-shoot at a porn set.

(And yeah, I am using a lot of adult industry metaphors in this post...but hell, if the "money-shot" works, great...grab a towel...damn it, did it again!)

Anywho....the reasoning for my divided feelings on the matter is as follows...

My heart goes out to my mom, my dad, all my aunts and uncles, and every black person over 50 years old who dealt with segregated bathrooms, restaurants, being called every name under the sun, being threatened with death if they tried to vote, who couldn't get a job because of the color of their skin (and those who got jobs because of their ethnic background, and they didn't deserve it; Affirmative Action was a good idea at the time, but people should get theirs on their own merit...period), because this is a moment they thought they'd never see, and they should celebrate. It is a breakthrough in racial barriers, to say the least.

But, logically, here is a man who will have to learn on the job while he cleans up a hell of a mess.

If he can.

So here I am...divided....proud as a man of color for this major point in this country's history...not wanting to "betray" anyone. However, as I have said to my wife (not to my in-laws; they are my baby-sitters, and "Quantum of Solace" comes out on November 14th, and I am not missing me some James Bond), I and everyone else who didn't vote for the man need to give him a chance. 4 years, ya don't like him, you can put back the same old tired rich WASP-Y guys who have kept 95% of the money for the majority of this country's history. I guess my division lies in the feeling that as the first person of color in this position, I hope he does well...if only to diffuse the theory that Black Folks/African-Americans/Homeboys/CrimeDawgs/T.I. fans can only play sports, perhaps hold a few governor and Senate Seats, and so forth, can't handle a job such as the one as Mr. Obama has now won.

My division lies in the fact that I feel that he cannot fail at the task that lies before him now; this goes beyond the racial lines, or smashing the stereotype of intelligence in people of color. He cannot fail because the folks of the U.S.A., which is limping right now, bringing down the rest of the planet with her, need to know that we are trusting this new hope in trust in someone who happens to not burn as easily as "white folks" (or Puerto Ricans for that matter; sorry, old friend, I got you beat on the melanin thing).

So my division is based on cautious optimism, not only to destroy (well, that won't ever go away; NASCAR would have no fans) ignorance due to color, as well as a small smile crossing my face, so I can tell my mulatto/checkerboard/zebra (George Jefferson in the house!)/boys created out of love kids that you can do anything...dreams can come true, as President-Elect Obama said in his acceptance speech.

Or we'll go back to that same ol' good old boys club, which I hope on November 4th finally ran out of Geritol, Depends, and Viagra.

So my division will remain with me, even though it is a hopeful dividing line in my heart.

So, 50 minutes after I started writing this entry in the "Domain", I am ending it with a different vibe from its title...as that ultimately, this is a man who, if his eloquent speeches rang true, should just be the dude who says he wants to change Washington. No "Brother-Dent" required.

So I say...

Congrats to Barack Hussein Obama II, the 44th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Folks who would only vote for the next "American Idol" spoke up on Election Day. They were UNITED.

2 things I'd like to mention to the President-Elect before I go...

1. When they put you up on the White House page, shorten the middle name to "H". Just not a good name to have when we haven't caught that fellow with the bad habit of flying planes into buildings. A little P.R. advice, tis all.

2. Also, Mr. President, after you get sworn in, can ya float me a copy of "Whose Nailin' Paylin"? I hear that chick playing Palin (I believe her stage name is Lisa Ann) is hot!

Good Luck and God's Speed, Mr. President.